Death of an Angel
Farrah Fawcett died Thursday June 25th 2009 after a valiant battle with anal cancer.
When the story broke I had been working in my office listening to CNN. I can’t say I was shocked by the news that she had passed away, but I was extremely sad that another cancer warrior had lost their battle.
As a cancer patient advocate, I experience the loss of many members, friends and colleagues. It breaks my heart each and every time and it reaffirms my resolve that my job is an important one.
I may not be able to cure cancer, but I offer information, education, support and friendship. I have strong shoulders in which people may lean. I am the listener to those who may not have anyone to talk to. I offer support oftentimes when no one else does. I wish we would have had that when my dad was first diagnosed with cancer. We didn’t have anyone. I promised myself and him and my mom that I would always work to offer support to those who needed it.
With Ms. Fawcett’s documentary of her cancer journey and battle and with her death Thursday, I had hopes that cancer would be on the forefront of the media, at least for a short while. Spotlighting cancer survivors and the cancer fight and the lack of resources and treatment options would be a step forward in the momentum needed to make changes in cancer care and survivorship.
Shortly after absorbing the news that Ms. Fawcett had passed away the media dam broke with the news that pop star Michael Jackson had died of cardiac arrest. It was pandemonium and shock and every news outlet and radio station was scrambing for news and to be the first to break it.
News that Farrah Fawcett had died quickly took a backseat.
I will never forget when a newscaster asked Larry King how he would arrange his show for that night, because he had already planned an hour long special about Farrah Fawcett’s life and death.
He replied that he was doing a two hour special about Michael Jackson instead. His response, “Well, with Farrah it was expected. They were holding a vigil in her hospital room just waiting for her to die. It was a matter of time. No one was surprised by her death. With Michael, it’s a complete shock. The country is in shock and mourning.”
I didn’t tune into Larry King’s two hour special.
I tuned into the coverage of the life, cancer battle and death of an “Angel”
Stand Up to Cancer SU2C- didn’t stand up for LC
This won’t be a blog that bashes- well, ok, maybe sometimes I do a little, but my intent is not to bash the SU2C Organization.
A year ago, I was one of the awed viewers who pledged a donation. It wasn’t something I thought twice about. I myself am a survivor and I lost my dad to lung cancer 6 years ago as well as many friends.
I was stunned by the support and prime time airtime. I was so proud of Katie Couric and all the announcers and movie stars and spent that night watching this amazing show in tears. One of the few shows that make you feel so proud of it’s content.
As a cancer patient advocate for the past 7 years, I felt the ground I stood on shift a little. The possibilities in terms of cancer research, treatment options and support were endless now, I felt. Did the door just open? Was this the decade that cancer became the trendy thing to support and the media would delve into it and we as a nation would finally see some real fundamental changes in terms of early detection, treatment and survivor ship? Well?
Well, I’m still waiting… I was disturbed when rumors floated about what SU2C was doing with the donation money, even though none of the rumors turned out to be true. I was astonished when the stories of mothers murdering their children and husbands killing their wives topped all the cable news channels. Shows about survivors and the need to fund cancer research were buried in back pages or seconds long at best.
I was appalled at the mass hysteria of the swine flu outbreak…the closing of school districts and evacuations…when there were only a handful of questionable fatalities at best and the swine flu wasn’t any worse than the regular flu which sees fatalities each year.
Twenty thousand people die a DAY from cancer. My dad died of lung cancer. 450 people die a day in the US alone from lung cancer. Where’s the pandemonium? Why isn’t our nation up in arms over this very real epidemic?
I’ve been disheartened in my advocacy career but I know we inch forward in progress thru all our hard work. And although last years SU2C program was amazing, I realize that this may not be the decade that lung cancer gets put on the “map”.
Of the funds raised- over one billion dollars- NONE of it went to fund lung cancer research.
SU2C didn’t stand up for lung cancer patients. And LC is the deadliest cancer killer.
I guess I should have kept my donation that day and sent it to LUNGevity Foundation instead.
LUNGevity is the only organization dedicated to funding lung cancer research. LC is the deadliest cancer killer killing more than breast, colon, prostate and pancreatic cancers COMBINED, but gets the least federal funding. LC is an epidemic.
If you breathe, you can get LC.
Kudos to SU2C for putting on a great show last year. I hope that next year, some funds will find their way to LC research.
Within a years time, we will have lost 165,000 to LC in the USA-
…while we’re waiting.
Haleigh Cummings…where is she and why has the spotlight dimmed?
It’s been about 11 weeks of Beverly Hillbilly-type antics and squabbles between both sides of Haleigh Cummings family and the fact remains that the five year old is still missing and no one is closer to finding out what happened to her.
I think the media and the public lost the ability to sympathize with these people when the bio father married his teenage live-in just days after the child went missing. They took a honeymoon to NY and appeared on national television as husband and wife.
The allegations of child abuse by the mother against the father. The past criminal or court records, and the bickering and bantering have all been successful in dimming the spotlight on the missing child.
The bio father should not have jumped to marry the teenage girlfriend. The teenager who was the last to see Haleigh alive should have kept her mouth shut to the media. BOTH should have steered clear of the spotlight (and chain smoking) except to plead for Haleigh’s return and the bio mom could have waited until a reasonable amount of time passed before seeking custody of her remaining child.
BUT the damage has been done. I had to google search and really research to see any kind of news on Haleigh and that is the worst tragedy in all of this. A little girl remains missing.
Who’s looking for Haleigh?
FL to seek death penalty in Casey Anthony case
In December 08, prosecutors had filed papers stating that they would not be seeking the death penalty in the Casey Anthony trial, but this past week in a notice of intent filed, prosecutors said additional information has become available. The filing says that “sufficient aggravating circumstances exist to justify the imposition of the death penalty,” according to the Orlando Sentinel.
What new evidence does the prosecution have that substantiates the imposition of the death penalty?
There is speculation that there is environmental evidence and DNA evidence linking Casey/Caylee to the trunk and to the site where the body of little Caylee was found. There is of course the lies, mistruths and inconsistencies that we already know about, the phantom baby sitter, the evidence of a dead body and chloroform in the car and information about chloroform on her personal computer, the cell phone records and pings and of course all of the evidence that disputes everything that the Anthony family has ever claimed true.
Is it enough to convince a jury to hand down a death sentence.
My mind was made up long before the state decided to seek the death penalty this week.
Can the defense find an impartial jury?
Defense attorney Jose Bias says he client will not be intimidated to plea bargain. Is he being unrealistic and has he provided his client with the best defense thus far?
I don’t think so.
I think if this case ever does go to trial, whatever the verdict, Casey Anthony will have grounds to appeal and more taxpayer money will fund and fuel the madness that has been this case and the players within it.
Anthony Familys Anger- Misplaced?
I’ve been thinking about the deposition tapes that were released last week and along with the sense of disfunction, arrogance and self importance I get from the Anthonys, there is one emotion that stands above the rest- anger.
There is A LOT of anger.
I wanted to see if I could understand (maybe empathize) with the Anthonys by understanding where the anger comes from and my thoughts are as follows:
-They are angry because police focused on Casey almost from the beginning.
Well, they did call the police and tell them that there was a smell in their daughters car that smelled like a dead body. Cindy told police she didn’t care about Casey and just wanted to find Caylee and both parents, brother and friends told of Caseys lies. The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry about that. The police were following leads and doing their job.
-The Anthonys are angry because witnesses came out of the woodwork and told stories about Casey, her past actions, and her claims to them.
The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry at this since these are the people who know Casey best and she spent her days and nights with them and in many instances Casey is photographed “enjoying” herself with them.
-The Anthonys are angry at publicity and speculation by the media. The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry at this since they enlisted the media to help initially and frequently appeared in various media giving statements and making claims. They fostered the media circus and controlled caos.
The Anthonys did not act as other relatives of missing children do and focus soley on finding Caylee- they appeared with their own speculation and accusations, they pointed fingers, they spun stories that later were found to be inconsistent and paraded all of it for public consumption. I’ve never in my life watched a family of a missing child act in this manner. I don’t think anyone else has either- which explains the public facination.
-The Anthonys are angry at the ex lovers for coming forward and making public statements about their daughter. The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry about this since there have been allegations by their camp that an ex lover may have been involved in the disappearance/murder of Caylee. The door was opened by them and their daughter did have relationships with these men.
-The Anthonys are angry at the state that their jailhouse tapes were released and that Lee was secretly taped. The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry if what they said was simply the truth and non implicating against their daughter and if they had nothing to hide.. The only reason to be angry about the tapes would be if their true feelings about Casey was revealed (and they didn’t want the public to know the truth) or if anything they said could be used against them at a later date.
Regardless, they shouldn’t be angry at the state or media that the tapes went public ( which is part of FL state law ), they should be angry at themselves, how they appeared and the words that came out of their own mouths.
-The Anthonys are angry at Zaneida Gonzalez for her civil lawsuit. The Anthonys shouldn’t be angry with her. Other than Caylee, she is the “true” victim in all of this.
So after all this, I still don’t understand why the Anthonys are so angry or why the one sided explosions and offensive display during those depositions last week?
I feel like their anger is misplaced and misdirected and I’ve been intrigued by the comments on the possible malfunction and disfunction of this family and the psychology that could explain their actions and behaviors.
The Anthonys should be angry with themselves for their inconsistent statements and actions and for their judgement to put their family and personal accusations on display to the media.
Most of all they should be angry at Casey for….well, for everything.
Why we love to hate the Casey Anthony family
Yesterday George and Cindy Anthony were deposed in the civil case involving the Anthonys and Ms. Gonzales and it was an explosion of emotions. Cudos to Mr. Morgan for asking the tough questions we all wanted to hear answers to.
The couple came off as combative and offensive. I would think they would be defensive and maybe somewhat composed after all this time, but it appeared to me that their emotions were simmering right from the start and they wanted a show for the camera. Cindy Anthony evens refers to the camera herself during a part of her deposition. It was obvious to me that it was definitely a “show” and at times a power struggle.
One that definitely doesn’t help the defense and one that makes the Anthony parents, in my opinion, look totally off balance and disturbed.
Let’s put a side how ridiculous I think they sound when they agree with or defend their daughter- a lot of parents love blindly. I don’t fault them that.
I want to focus on why they are still in the news and why it is we love to hate them.
It’s because they speak out of both sides of their face. Witnesses have stated that the parents were “fed up” with Casey and her lies and the stealing. They have said that George called his own daughter “messed up” and “not right”. They have reported that Cindy Anthony called her daughter a bad mother (Lee Anthony even confirms this in his deposition) and that on more than one occasion Cindy Anthony threatened to seek legal custody of Caylee…- understandable and sounds normal to me…
Yet when confronted or questioned- Cindy calls her daughter a good mother, she calls everyone else a liar (does this include her son?) She claims to have had numbers and addresses for “Zany” but in 2 1/2 years never called or met the woman, and out of the same breath she claims “Zany” could be code name for the ex. or the BF..? The dots don’t connect and it’s just not a rational line of thinking.
We love to hate the Anthony’s because they seem completely off balance, nothing they say makes any sense, they contradict themselves and are so arrogant as to think they can talk their way out of everything- even their lies….and they fail miserably….we keep watching..hoping for an answer that can explain what happened to Caylee and why that family is the way that it is.
Don’t give me the excuse that they’ve already lost a granddaughter and that they would do anything to help their daughter now—if that was the case then they would be overly helpful and pleading to the public that their daughter didn’t do these things….but they aren’t acting in that way…they are arrogant and make headlines talking about other people, grandstanding to the cameras and keeping themselves (as well as all the lies and inconsistencies) in the forefront of everyones minds.
What do I expect a family in their shoes to do?
Shut up. Plain and simple. From the time police began to focus on their daughter they should have kept their mouths shut. They can support and love their daughter and feel however way they want to- but once they make it public, and contridict themselves and get caught in lies and inconsistencies then we are going to talk…and they lose whatever crediblity they have as intelligent people.
Yes, it’s irrational the things we do for our children- those of us with kids understand that…maybe that explains the blindness when it came to Caseys lies and stealing in the past. I get it. They may have enabled her and lived in a state of denial. They wouldn’t be the first parents to do that.
But as evidence mounts, it seems as though they keep spinning circles around truths and lies and teeter back and forth from being the concerned parent to being a hostile defendant.
We don’t see coverage like this of any other parents of alleged child murderers….
I think the Anthony’s have welcomed the public caos from the beginning and have fed into the beast with their actions…
which is why they are still in the news today and one reason why so many of us love to hate them.
More Casey Anthony drama
More news released today that attorney for Casey Anthony may have told private investigator not to call 911 if they found Caylees body.
Also the news from ex boyfriend that Casey told him her own brother tried to have sex with her.
Now news that the family targeted the ex and plans to pin the murder on him!
What’s next people? Will they report that George is Caylees father? Wouldn’t THAT explain this families apparent malfunction? LOL
Sorry, but really that is how insane sounding this entire story has sounded from the beginning.
There are so many people telling so many lies and the fact that FL law allows the release of evidence, photos and video before even going to trial seems to just feed this manic frenzy.
But it all boils down to the Anthony family, those tapes and lies and their actions.
How blind and guillible and arrogant and disfunctional all of this makes them seem!
Why won’t they step up now and speak up on behalf of Caylee? Why won’t they clarify all the misinformation and reject Caseys lies?
The longer they remain silent the more speculation builds that they either had an active part before, during or after Caylees murder… Or that this entire family is as messed up and disturbed as Casey seems to be.
They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?
Casey Anthony- whose footing the bill?
While there seems to be no “conflict of interest” between Casey Anthony and her attorney Jose Baez (legally) the public still doesn’t know how Casey Anthony is paying for her expensive high powered defense team!
There has been alot of speculation about the photos and videos sold and about the donations that come into George and Cindy Anthony- Is THIS why the Anthony’s still staunchly defended their daughter? $$…?
Make no mistake- I DO believe they love their daughter now and wanted to support her (initially) then,
but in the light of so many lies, inconsistencies and evidence, how can they still publically defend and support her? They aren’t stupid people. There’s got to be more to the story and it seems as though America is facinated by watching it unfold crumb by crumb.
I’ve also heard reports that neither George or Cindy hold a job- who pays the bills? Ho do they live? Again we might assume that they are being supported by interviews, videos/photo sales and donations.
And it makes me cringe to think it all boils down to $$…resulting from the murder of a 2 yr. old girl.
I dare you to magine yourself in this very situation as we know it…what would you DO?
First Lady’s Secret Weapon is “Grandma”
In a CNN article today First Lady Michelle Obama called her secret weapon, “Grandma”.
As a mom of two, I can definitely relate to much of what she is saying. I remember the sleepless nights and worry and wondering if I was “doing it” right. I remember the wealth of advice and short cuts and tips from my own “secret weapon”, my mom, but mostly I remember her calming presence. Being with her made me feel like a better mother. It made me want to be a better mother.
My mother was our anchor and our family was rooted around her.
Little things like going to the grocery store alone- because grandma had the kids, was priceless. Knowing that you could sleep in a couple of hours and the house wouldn’t flood or catch on fire- because grandma was there, was an enormous security blanket. And the perks of being able to go out without worry, once a month or more, because the kids were with grandma is something I really miss.
With the right support and “secret weapon”, I think even Octumom could be a successful parent. There is power and success in numbers!
My mom suddenly passed away two years ago and I can say I was not close to being prepared. I was blindsided and shocked and left with a feeling of abandonment, sadness, and loneliness. I’m in my thirties and still needed my mother’s emotional support and friendship. I had depended on it and leaned heavily on her and she on me after my father died of cancer. We were the best of friends and I was not ready to let her go. My kids were not ready to let her go.
Without her in our lives we floundered and became disabled. It’s lonely.
I feel as though these last two years have been physical therapy for us- learning to make new relationship connections, learning to depend on ourselves, looking outward, placing trust in other people- has been very hard. And I still haven’t had a night out with my husband alone since my mother died! But we’re making it. One day at a time.
I hope that other’s read that CNN article and take from it how important our extended family is in the rasing of our children- and NOT take it for granted.
Whether they (our parents/grandparents) are with us a very long or short time, treasure what they give to us, and foster that sense of responsibilty and kindness and sacrifice onto the next generation.
Casey Anthony- what they dont say..
Why doesn’t anyone state the obvious about Casey Anthony and that entire family?
Nancy G treads so lightly when it comes to the other members of that family…
Where were her parents? Why didn’t anyone around her hold her accountable and responsible for past crimes and a life of lies? Were they all out for themselves- self centered mental jobs? Who was watching out for that baby?
If Casey were a single mom on her own I wouldn’t have these questions or cast a net of blame…but she was surrounded by family and friends!! All of them turned a blind eye and let her get away without repercussion! Why? It’s not as if she were a famous star (OJ) or wealthy or the most beautiful woman in FL…from what I’ve heard she wasn’t even all that nice a lot of the time…I don’t get it.
HOW did she get away with so much garbage for so long and then escalate (allegedly) to killing her own child?
The media tippy-toes around the relationship with her parents and her creepy brother!
In the jailhouse tapes all four of the Anthonys speak as if they are talking in code, trying hard to sound superior and/or intelligent and walking on eggshells and sounding to me like they are a family of loons.
George only seems like the most rational because out of the four, he’s been the most reserved and quiet. As a former cop- he knew…He knows what happened I think! And he tried to commit suicide!
The tape of Lee at the memorial service was mind boggling to me too…”CMA…I miss you…CMA I need you”". Whaaaaa? Can it get any weirder? No, just wait, there’s also the DNA test they gave to him to see if he was the father of his own sisters baby! And Casey said to a former boyfriend that he had tried to have sex with her!! OMG
And don’t forget the deposition he gave laughing and indignant sounding when talking about his sister, her lies and her missing/murdered baby. Maybe he was nervous…but creepy and crazy sounding all the same.
I think it’s the worst kind of reality nightmare show each night on Nancy Grace.
It’s worse than any b rate soap opera and this is real people!
Yet we are glued to the story- like bystanders watching the wreckage unfold.
I also think there is so much more that will shock us when all is said and done.
I hope baby Caylee did not suffer as she had on earth and is wrapped in love and peace now and I wish for justice against everyone who failed her.
Gotta go, Nancy G is on..
About
Author is a cancer patient advocate with a background in writing, marketing, and the legal field. She found her mission in supporting those affected by cancer after the loss of her father and many friends. Today she works as a consultant and patient advocate and also volunteers in several capacities for seveal organizations. She enjoys her loved ones and reading and blogging. She is an adult orphan, a chronic insomniac and self-professed technology freak, suffers slightly from OCD (self-diagnosed) and an overwhelming need to change the world around her.
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