~Brownbeansprout

Tonights show, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, was emotionally brutal for many viewers..

The family was a couple who after having one natural child, adopted 6 special needs children from China.

As if that wasn’t heroic and special enough to deserve the home makeover, they also faced the devestating reality that the husband and father was dying of end-stage cancer.

I will say I think the show was respectful of the last days and did not expoit the man as he lay in the hospital.

It was an honest and real glimpse of a family dealing with a cancer crisis and trying to have hope.

This show hit me square in the heart.

Five years ago I was the one in the hospital room holding and rubbing my fathers hands and hoping beyond hope for a miracle.

I remember talking to him for days while he laid in the hospital for the last time.

I remember wondering if he’d ever be able to come home again.

As I watched the show tonight all those emotions came flooding back and I could really imagine the fear and uncertainty the family felt. I had walked this walk…I knew what was coming and I couldn’t helping just weeping for them.

I can’t imagine being 6-17 years old and losing a father to such a horrific disease at an age when you really depend on and need a father. I was 29/30 and it has scarred my life and left a hole that I will never be able to fill.

I feel so badly for those children and the wife who will carry the weight of raising them alone while she herself grieves the love of her life.

This is a family I will keep in my heart and remember in my prayers always.

As for my dad, he was in the hospital for 11 days. I was his caregiver and stayed by his side for every minute of those 11 days. I will always be grateful for that time to talk to him and cry with him and tell him over and over how lucky I was to have been his daughter and how grateful I was for all he sacrified for his family and how very much I loved him.

Siblings and relatives came from out of town to say their “goodbyes” and after the 11th day, after the last grandchild arrived from out of state, daddy gave a wonderful smile- and took his last breath.

They told us the first day he only had hours to live, but he lived 11 days.

Much as he had done thoughout his life, he did things his way- and he wasn’t ready until the last grandson arrived.

I think this may have been what happened to the man on the show. Once he knew the home had been built, his family moved in and they were safe and taken care of-he was ready – and he passed away.

There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think about my dad and all that he has missed these past five years. Every holiday and birth and special event is marked by his absence.

While I can now find joy in life again, there is a loss and sense of sadness that never leaves me.

I know those children will have a lifetime of feeling those same feelings and hope and pray for support and stregth for their mother to give them the love they will need during such a difficult time.